Every few months I go to Palm Beach Gardens to visit one of my best friends and his family. I sleep in the guest room that has a glass sliding door downstairs on the main floor of the house. In the case of a fire, I think I probably have the best room in the house. When it comes to a group of mass murderers coming to get us, I am totally screwed. This past trip I was leaving to come back home on Monday morning around 5:30AM but ended up getting an early 3AM wake up call. Being the world's lightest sleeper, getting early wake up calls often contributes to baggy eyes. On this particular morning, I woke up to the motion sensor patio lights going off. Immediately, I locked the bedroom door and checked the sliding glass door to make sure it was secure so the savage beast who had come to attack could only get to Chris and his family and not me. Because there was a 6ft locked fence going around the patio that is attached to the house, the only thing it could be is a mass murderer or a family member going outside. After locking all my doors, I proceeded to text Chris with the statement "Did you just go outside? The patio light went on". (I did this on my pink blackberry because pink is the color of superheroes). As soon as the text was sent, I heard the rattling of the front door. Someone was trying to get inside! I instantly went under the covers and began trying to convince myself that if I cannot see them then they cannot see me!!!! I was sure that this would keep me safe! After a few minutes there is no murderer and the light went off, but I was still convinced they are waiting outside my door... waiting to kill me. The next 15 minutes are spent under the covers (that was really a thin blanket that my feet are sticking out of) with a tight grip on my phone as I started to compose a text to family and friends telling them that I love them. All of the sudden the light comes on again!!!!! At this point, I jump out of bed and hide behind a wall that is attached to the sliding glass door hoping to get a glimpse of this vicious killer. The light goes off again. THEN ON AGAIN!!! I finally see shadows of the killer I have been waiting to get me, and I am convinced this is the end!!! I am scared out of my mind as the killer is getting closer with what I am sure is a meat cleaver in hand like in the movie, Scream. As the first images of the killer come into site I am shocked to see the face. It is a daddy raccoon and his baby coming to hide while mom climbs over the 6ft wooden fence with party favors in hand for dinner. So, this was my killer. The same killer that my friend, Chris, had received a text message about, gotten out of bed and saw the raccoons from his room and failed to text me back to tell me that I would see sunrise. For a brief moment I was not sure if I was embarrassed or relieved that it was a family of raccoons, but I do know that whatever it was I was happy to be able to make it through the early morning hours in one piece.
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